I realized today that I seem to only get attached to those things that need me. About 4 months ago I was standing outside feeding a couple of stray cats that have taken up at my home when a mamma cat walked over with her kitten and then ran off leaving the kitten on my front porch. At first I didn’t think much of it and assumed she would come back for her but she didn’t. Luckily I had 2 strays that had given birth recently and they took her in. Well some days went by and I saw the mama to this kitten standing across the street looking over at our house. When I picked her kitten up and tried walking over to her with it she just ran off again. Well I took her to the vet and they said she seemed fine and was about 6 weeks old. I tried repeatedly to find her a home. I put her online, in the paper and even tried to talk several neighbors into taking her. No one wanted her. She remained outside because I knew the other adult females would care for her and they did. By month two she got the nickname of tiny because she just wouldn’t get any bigger. I watched the other stray kittens grow and she just stayed the same size. My children started picking her up and playing with her. My neighbors 2 year old carried her around. My dogs loved her. I told my husband that if she was still here when we moved in November that she would become ours and we would bring her in. I always felt weird about taking her in the house because I had a secret hope that her mom would come back for her. I never get attached to the strays. I even have 4 dogs and while I love them greatly I am only truly attached to the 2 who had been abused. this kitten was great! Well November is fast approaching, we are almost done with remodeling the house we will be moving into. This morning I went out to rake some leaves and she was in my yard about 10 feet from the street dead. This isn’t the first time we have found a stray dead at our house. In the year and a half we have lived here we have buried 8 this made 9. I have never cried over it because I know as sad as it is it happens. Today I can’t stop crying! This cat was different. Her mom gave her up and abandoned her. Now I feel like I failed her. I appreciate that who ever hit her was nice enough to pick her up and put her in the yard and not leave her out on the street like roadkill! I just hate that she didn’t get a chance. It’s crazy to compare myself to a cat but I felt like I could relate to her.